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Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts

Memories

On August 6th my Great Grandma went to be with the Lord. She was 88 years old, and the last of my Great Grandparents.  You see, I am one blessed person.  I, up until 10 years ago, had 4 sets of grandparents.  My dad's parents, my mom parents, and both sets of my mom's grandparents.  Some people never meet their grandparents let alone great grandparents.  I did.  The thing is, when I heard that my grandma had died, I was at work.  I went right back to work, hoping it would keep me from crying and my mind off my grandma.  It worked, kinda.  You see, I didn't cry, but I certainly thought about grandma a lot. In fact, I thought about all my grandparents.  Memories of them came flooding in.  The last time I say each of them.  Special moments we spent together.  I kept remembering the smile my dad's dad gave me only days before he died.

A few days later, I was at my Gr. Grandparents house, going through her things.   They lived by a river, and there was water in the basement earlier this year.  They were still working on cleaning things out and we needed to get it finished.  We laughed and cried, memories abound in that house, they lived there for 45 years.  The house abounds with memories of them.

A few Saturdays ago all the family was supposed to meet at the house, to help clean up and then divvy up possessions.  There were so many things that meant something to one or the other, or all of us. It's amazing how one of the many unique toys they collected would bring back a score a happy memories.

The funny thing about all of it, was that after the fact, it got me to thinking.  Thinking about all the material things that exist in a person's life. The things that, before they are a person's possession, they are meaningless.  But once they become an owned possession they are important.  They become priceless, and to friends and families a door to memory lane.  What things do I own that will someday be a priceless treasure to someone else?  Make the most of today, and treasure the memories of yesterday.

So, I had the scare of my life!!

A few weeks ago, Mary S. dropped my violin off Iowa City/Coralville on her way to Des Monies. The violin was open and needed to be fixed, and my bow was in desperate need of rehair. It was done and ready to be picked up last Thursday. But, things have been crazy around here and we haven't had time. When I began to hear about the flooding in Cedar Rapids I got a little worried, but consoled myself with the fact that my violin was in Iowa City. Then yesterday I decided to ask Mom if she and Dad could take a detour on the way home from Champaign and pick my violin up. With all the crazy weather and flooding, I would feel better if I had it with me. Mom said "Sure, call Mr. Reck and make sue he's open tomorrow." Well.... all I got was a busy signal. Talk about starting to freak. Then Mary called, she had seen Mr. Reck's shop on the news, it was surrounded in water!
You can almost see it starting at 3:08, it's behind the green building, a few doors down from Subway.


So, I really started freaking out, in fact, I was about ready to cry! And I was at work, so there wasn't anything I could do, and I couldn't very well burst into tears at work! I resorted to, it's o.k. everything is fine, he wouldn't leave all the instruments in the shop at the mercy of the water, I trust him, everything is fine, AHH!!!!!!!!!

Then I had an idea, maybe my violin teacher had Mr. Reck's home phone number, granted, she is hard to get ahold of, but I thought, just maybe she would be home, school was out for the summer.... thankfully she was home. And she had called Reck's yesterday to check on the stuff she had down there. Everything was safe and had been moved to his house. *breathes sigh of relief* I can't imagine life without my violin, I mean, it is my life!!! So, anyway I'm breathing again :)

I'm a physical mess!

So... here's the deal. Mother's day I almost fell out of a tree and slightly twisted my ankle. It was sore for 2 maybe 3 days.

Monday I woke up with a terrible pain in the middle of my upper back. Kinda like a pinched nerve. Mom has done the vibrator massager thing on my back twice it's a little better. But because of it, my back is tender sometimes I'm in pain and get weak so I can't lift much of anything.

I realized last night that my left arm has been falling asleep almost every night when I am relaxing at home. I'm assuming it has something to do with my back.

I woke up at 6:45 this morning because the muscle in the back of my lower left leg cramped up. I couldn't move. Steph got me the heating pad and I applied heat for about 2 hours. It's still really tight. I took calcium tablets this morning and have been eating almonds all day. I'm going to put more heat on before I go to bed. Hopefully the cramping will go away soon.

So, yeah... I think that's it. I'm going to the Chiropractor at 8:15 Saturday morning. We are hoping that will solve the back and arm problem. As for my leg, well I think I need to slow down, drink more milk and eat consistent full meals........

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to say

I'm still here. Alive and kicking, just very tired and busy. Pretty much running from the time I wake up till I get in bed at night. Plus, I'm trying to catch up on the 90 Day Challenge. I was almost there, but I got a headache that lasted a week and now I'm a little behind again. I'm hoping to catch up tomorrow or Thursday. I'm supposed to be done on Sunday. I'll make it, I finished 1 Corinthians today.

Fixing the laptop....

Apparently, I look like this a lot :)

New Hair Cut



O.k. so.. bad picture of me, but you get the idea :)

Hello all!!!

No, I have not forgotten about you. I've been terribly busy, I'm not sure why, but it's been a LONG month!

Anyway, I've been thinking recently about music. And well... I reread Brock and Bodie Thoene's book Vienna Prelude a month or two ago. And well, the musicians in the book talk about music expressing the thoughts or words of your heart. That as a musician you can express what is on/in your heart through the music that you play. The music of the heart.... So anyway, I've just been thinking about that,... and wondering, what my heart says....

So....

What would you like to hear about? Any particular topics you think I don't discuss enough? More pictures? Less about Luke and Sarah? Deep theological discussions? What's your opinion? What would you like me to talk about?

O.K. God, I'm finally listening...

For the last 2 months I was been having trouble with my right wrist. It was shooting pain up my arm and I was very very sore. There were times when moving my wrist was very painful. I thought I had pulled something or aggravated something and that it would get better if I rested. Well, schedule didn't permit rest. In fact I had to practice my violin more. My teacher thought it was a psychological thing and it would go away.

Anyway, 6 weeks later after 2 weeks of some rest over the holidays my wrist was still quite sore. So, I went to the Chiropractor. Who helped me some, but the soreness was still there. I tried playing my violin a couple times but my wrist has become weak and it is hard to play, my wrist felt like a shell of it's former self. It's difficult and discouraging to play when you can't play like you used too. So, I called my aunt who is a Physical Therapist. After asking a few questions, she said that my wrist was healing, it wasn't pain anymore, just achy sore. She gave me some exercises to do, they hurt but they should strengthen my wrist. So, for now, I wear a wrist guard/stabilizer close to 24/7. So, I try very hard to have a good attitude, and trust in God. I keep telling myself what Mom tells me, God doesn't take away a gift. The gifts and callings of God are without repentance

So, on Sunday at the end of the meeting my wrist was suddenly and unexplainably in a lot of pain, something it hadn't done in a few weeks. After the meeting the elders prayed for me and I am really trusting in God. The thing is, after the elders prayed for me, Krystina was asking me about my hand. And she asked me if I had been asking God what He was teaching me, what I was supposed to learn in this. And truthfully... I hadn't really been thinking/praying about it. The thought had come to mind, but that was about it. And the more I think about it, the more I've realized that there is definitely something I am supposed to be learning.

I was thinking about that on and off all day on Sunday. And then, when I got home, I slipped on the snow and fell. When I fell my neck connected with the open box top I was carrying. Needless to say, it hurt. I have a cardboard burn on my neck and I bruised my throat. All day Monday I was very sore and thinking. God, is definitely trying to teach me something, I've never been this "hurt" in my life. God is breaking me down and making me vulnerable. Cutting down my independency and self-sufficiency and making me dependent on Him and Him alone. It's amazing, how long it takes for me to get past my self and my "pain" and realize that God is trying to talk to me, to get through my thick brain and make me more like Him. It's amazing how long it takes till I can finally say "O.k. God, I'm finally listening."

Praise the Lord!

So, since Tuesday afternoon I have felt at more peace and much more happy than I have in months! This past semester at school has been very rough. We got a new orchestra director and a new violin teacher. Well, I really enjoy working with the orchestra director but the violin teacher I wasn't sure about. You see, I've had 4 different teachers the past 4 years. That in itself was difficult. I only really learned from 2 of those teachers.

I've been very depressed this semester, I'm not at peace, really just miserable. I can't play very well anymore, all the confidence I had in my playing ability was gone. I don't know if this works with all musicians but without my confidence I am a nothing. The new teacher didn't suit very well. For some reason we didn't get along very well. I felt like my playing was getting worse not better. And I wasn't getting the help, with encouragement, that I need. I couldn't make myself not take lessons next semester, it didn't seem fair to not sign up for lessons.

I had been praying for about a month asking God what I should do, what do I do next semester, but I didn't have an answer...

So, after much anxiety I went in Tuesday morning for my jury; playing before a panel of music professors who judge your progress since last semester, it's part of your grade. Anyway I was playing something VERY simple. But I played it terribly, and I'm not just saying that, it was terrible. When I left I was very distraught and wanted to cry. I went to work and decided that I was done, I wasn't going to take lessons at the U next semester. I still wanted to cry, but I felt a little better. I finally had a chance to call mom and tell her what I had decided. She told me that she agreed with me and what God had been telling her about the situation. After I hung up with her I felt much, much better. I felt confident in my decision and that I had done the right thing.

Now, a little rabbit trail :) I had been listening to Timeless Treasures 2. Listening to the work I had done on it and wondering why I couldn't play like that anymore, what was wrong with me. It was a little hard to listen to, knowing I didn't sound like that anymore... now, mind you it's not perfect, nor was it easy to do, ask Dave, 100 and some takes on one song.... but it was possibly the best I've done and it was to God.

So, I went over to Mom and Dad's that evening for my hug :) I was telling Mom about my confidence and how it was gone and I needed it back. It's the one thing that I missed the most. And then she told me something that made a huge difference. She says that "the gifts and callings of God are without repentance". God doesn't take away a gift. And I realized that I had been scared, worried that it was gone, never to return. That maybe I had been brushed aside, not needed anymore. That God was done with my gift or just decided he didn't need it, and my ability to play was gone. But that's not true, it's still there, waiting for God's to use it. I just need to make it ready. It won't be easy, getting back the confidence I lost and once again having the ability to play, really play again. I miss it, I wasn't perfect, and I won't ever be perfect in my music. But as long as I am a ready and willing vessel God will use me, and the gift that he gave me is His to use as he sees fit.

So, with all that said, I just wanted to share the peace that God gave me and the story behind it. Hopefully now that I don't have all that on my mind, I'll have more time to post :)

For those of you who are wondering, yes I will still be doing orchestra at the U, I am also taking a conducting course, and possibly playing viola in a quartet, no I don't know how to play viola that's part of the fun of it :) As for lessons there is a lady that I took lessons from about 8 years ago and again this summer that said she would teach me again, at the expensive of her little time to herself. So, I am going to give her a call after the holidays and everything should be good again :)

It if you got through all that and understand what I was saying "bravo to you!"

What's new in my life

Nothing.



Sorry everyone..... I'm been thinking lately, I've been reading various posts of what's going on in people lives, what new thing they've done or are doing. Something exciting. Something just plain different. Moving, new job, new whatevers.... And I've come to realize, I'm in a rut. A deep rut that keeps running in the same direction with no end in sight. *sigh* What do I do? I'm not dissatisfied with my life, I wouldn't have chosen, I would have made a mess of it. But now what do I do? What's next? What about my "degree" a.k.a the piece-of-paper-I-need-to-prove-I'm-competent. The meeting this morning was about Turning Your Eyes Upon Jesus. O.k. so now what. God's been speaking to me lately about spending more time with Him. And I know I need too. I just hope the "things of earth grow strangely dim" quickly....

Some recent thoughts....

I've been thinking recently. Mom's been doing a lot of 'spring cleaning' at our house. Getting rid of extra clutter and things we don't need or use. I've been meaning to do the same. Get rid of extra stuff I have lying around. I don't really need to drag it all to our new house. Then when David and Kristi were hear this weekend, Kristi mentioned that she had been doing the same thing. *DING!* O.k. I'm paying attention now! So, during church on Sunday there were so many thoughts coming to mind that I had to jot them down. This is what I came up with.

I sit here and think about the fact that I so often tell myself that
"I'm not ready and I don't know what to do about it. I'm too busy."
Too busy doing what??? Concentrating on the things in the carnal, on the natural things that are before me? On the thing on this level that God has given me to do. But yet, my mind is no in the place it needs to be. I find myself asking what happened? What happened to the time when I could pray without ceasing. What happened to waking up each morning with a song on my lips and a prayer in my heart. What happened to me?

Of course I could easily dismiss it as just a step up in the battle. A spiritual war is raging and it gets hotter every day. Dismiss it and go back to doing what God requires of me naturally on a day to day basis. But what about the spiritual requirements? If the battle step up every day, why don't I step it up every day. I can't stay on one level while everything else goes up. Dad just reminded me of Narnia's "Last Battle"
"Further up and further in!"
But I think to myself, I'm too tired to run. What do I do? Where do I turn?

I need to go and do some serious cleaning. Naturally and spiritually. What are my priorities? What I want, or what God desires of me, even if I don't like it. Even if I don't like it. *gulp* yep *swallows* Because if I do it, God's will becomes my will. His desires, my desires. and then when my dreams fade away and He is the dream, I won't be questioning anymore. I won't wonder, worry and stumble around in the dark stubbing my toe on the clutter in my life.

I have a destiny, a purpose, a place in the perfect will of God. Get your priorities straight, clean up and let go of the things in your life that are holding you back and then set your sights on God. Lock your eyes on Him and don't look back. Then your destiny will be fullfilled. And your dreams will not seem unfulfilled and fruitless. They will be God's plan for you and they will be fulfilled and fruitful unto Him.

So....

I'm sitting here staring at my computer screen trying to decide what on earth to write about. There must be something going on in my life that is interesting enough to blog...

but alas, my brain comes up a complete ________________________

so... let's see... what have I been doing...

  • I finished Joe's uniform in time for the Civil War Day. But I don't think I will get Lydia's skirt done. I feel terrible!!! Bad me, I should stay up all night and finish :)

  • I am about ready to throw my hands up in the air and forget this whole music thing all together!!!! It's a good thing I love my students or I would quit! Well,.... that and I know God wants me to play... I actually might be getting a new violin student, which would bring the grand total to 8. This is awesome! I was trying to figure out how to make a little more money. And God just keeps dropping students in my lap, definitely an answer to prayer...

  • Don't spent 2 hours in a small bathroom priming wood paneling. It gets VERY hot and tedious!

  • When your new violin teacher tells you to practice 4 hours a day. Make sure she actually means it before freaking out! I mean for goodness sake, I have a full time job, 7 students, orchestra, and magazine work on top of life, when I am suppose to practice for 4 hours every day. It's a good thing she didn't mean it...

  • Something new I learned! When you shift (on the violin) shift on the half steps its a lot easier.

  • Oh and when you are in 2/4 time and counting in 4 a quarter rest gets 2 beats *blushes* I was not quite there in orchestra tonight...

  • So, apparently I haven't been doing anything interesting lately.... I slammed my finger between a strawberry bucket and the door to the freezer this afternoon. It fine, it's just a little swollen and I might have a bruise, but it hurt terribly after it happened.

  • Oh and I realized that the skin that got burned on my arm earlier this year is actually a little different in color. You can still tell where the blister was, if you know where to look.. It's not bad at all, but it's there.

  • Other than that, my room desperately needs to be cleaned and I am very ticked at my hair... maybe I need a trim... Kristi! will you bring your clippers with you this weekend??
.....o.k. Katie that was quite a way to ask for a hair cut... Kristi, I think I need a hair cut, if it's not too much to ask could you please bring your clippers?

O.k. so I think maybe I will go to bed, I'm being a little random...

So, good night all!

May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you and give you peace.

Back to the school grindstone.....


So, I'm back to school next Monday. Definitely for this semester depending on what happens I might not be back for the spring semester. I'm also planning on taking some CLEP tests and working on finish my music degree. Hopefully by correspondence. I'm going to contact a college in NJ and see if they will except my credits from UWP. Then I will go from there. Hopefully it won't take me too long to finish. Until then,... off to the old grindstone....

A weekend with friends

I very blessed to be able to spend this last weekend with friends. Rebecca and I drove down to David and Kristi's on Friday night to spend the weekend with them. You see Joanna, my friend of mine from Colorado, whom I haven't seen in 10 years, is in Chicago the month of August. So I called D&K to see if they wouldn't mind some company and if we could go into Chicago and meet up with Joanna. They said sure and we made a weekend out of it! We went into Chicago on Saturday, picked up Joanna and headed around town. Rebecca and I managed to not get any pictures but Kristi posted some on her blog. We walked all over Chicago, probably 6 miles in all. We saw everything from the beach, to Union Station, to a huge aluminium, steel, whatever it was bean. (We didn't take this picture. I found it online)


We got to go to the World's Largest Free Air and Water Show. We saw an F-22, a Stealth Bomber, the Army Paratroopers, and the Thunderbirds among many other things. I quite enjoyed it. I had no idea that planes could be so entertaining!

It rained on and off all day. My favorite part was when we took Joanna back to Union Station and had to run a couple blocks in the pouring rain. Needless to say, we were soaking wet, but Joshua and I were enjoying ourselves.

After dropping Joanna off we went out to eat at a Greek restaurant in Greektown, Chicago. It was called Artropolis. It not only gave us a chance to dry off but the food was wonderful! Thanks Dave!!!!

This is the only picture Rebecca and I took the whole weekend. 2 wet, and happy friends!


All in all I had a wonderful time. Thank God for friends.

a little announcement

So, after much thought, prayer, and debate. I have decided to not try out for the DBQ Symphony. For a variety of reasons.... let's just say that was the peaceable solution.

Also, for those of you who I've talked to about my violin teacher (Ruth) who was wonderful. She won't be back at the U this year teaching. She got a music research job and it won't work with her schedule to teach. So... I'm not sure what will be happening.... I'm very unsure about taking lessons from yet another teacher who I don't know... So.... anyway.... I don't know what is happening there. I would appreciate your prayers that I would know what to do in the situation. Oh, and my recital is probably on hold, until we get this all straightened out. Life in regards to music has been quite interesting and trying the last week or so. So, that's what going on, I just thought I would let you all know.

Home Sweet Home

O.k. right here and now I am going to make an announcement:

OK, 2 announcements

#1 We are home!!!!

#2 I am a country girl and I LOVE it!
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I do NOT like big cities, nor ever want to live in a big city, they are confusing, ridiculous and totally unpersonal! I would gladly live the rest of my days in a small town. DBQ isn't too big, PV is great. I tell you, being able to turn around when you want, actually knowing where you are going, not being beeped at, and just the peace that goes with living in a small town is totally worth it! I don't care if the shopping is better and there are more opportunities small towns are the way to go!

There, now I will get off my soapbox.

oh, no I haven't forgotten about the beautiful thing I was going to show you all, I just haven't gotten to the picture yet.

Prayers please

Hi everyone,

I'm just posting quick to ask for prayer. I woke up yesterday and my eyes hurt and where swollen or something. I light hurt them, and for a while anyway I had to fight to keep my eyes open. They got better as the day when on but where red and hurt again this morning. They are definitely better but I would still appreciate prayers. I'm not sure what caused it in the first place. I'm believing that it is not allergies or anything like that.

Thanks!

one word quiz

One Word Quiz
You.
.Can.
.Only.
.Type.
.One.
.Word.
.Answers.
.Not as easy as you might think.

1. Where is your cell phone?
charging

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
nope

3. Your hair?
brown

4. Your mother?
amazing

5. Your father?
wonderful

6. Your favorite thing?
music

7. Your dream last night?
dream?

8. Your favorite drink?
milk!

9. What?
ever

10. The room you're in?
dark (Susie is sleeping...)

11. Your ex?
who?

12. Your fears?
stuck

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
married

14. Who did you hang out with last night?
myself

15. What you're not?
sleeping

16. Muffins?
yummy

17. One of your wish list items?
bow

18. Where did you grow up?
here-n-there

19. The last thing you did?
Pagemaker

20. What are you wearing?
Pj's

21. Your TV?
silent

22. Your pet?
none

23. Your computer?
necessary

24. Your life?
interesting

25. Your mood?
lonely

26. Missing?
Mr. Me

27. What are you thinking about right now?
sleep

29. Your work?
trying

30. Your summer?
busy

31. Your relationship status?
single

32. Your favorite color?
yellow

33. When is the last time you laughed?
today

34. Last time you cried?
*shrug*

35. School?
sometimes

emotions...

I cried at a commercial. ME! The girl who rarely cries at a book or even a movie. I cried at a 1 minute Hallmark commercial. Must have just come at just the right moment or something. It took me quite off guard. Anywho, it was interesting...