O.K. God, I'm finally listening...

For the last 2 months I was been having trouble with my right wrist. It was shooting pain up my arm and I was very very sore. There were times when moving my wrist was very painful. I thought I had pulled something or aggravated something and that it would get better if I rested. Well, schedule didn't permit rest. In fact I had to practice my violin more. My teacher thought it was a psychological thing and it would go away.

Anyway, 6 weeks later after 2 weeks of some rest over the holidays my wrist was still quite sore. So, I went to the Chiropractor. Who helped me some, but the soreness was still there. I tried playing my violin a couple times but my wrist has become weak and it is hard to play, my wrist felt like a shell of it's former self. It's difficult and discouraging to play when you can't play like you used too. So, I called my aunt who is a Physical Therapist. After asking a few questions, she said that my wrist was healing, it wasn't pain anymore, just achy sore. She gave me some exercises to do, they hurt but they should strengthen my wrist. So, for now, I wear a wrist guard/stabilizer close to 24/7. So, I try very hard to have a good attitude, and trust in God. I keep telling myself what Mom tells me, God doesn't take away a gift. The gifts and callings of God are without repentance

So, on Sunday at the end of the meeting my wrist was suddenly and unexplainably in a lot of pain, something it hadn't done in a few weeks. After the meeting the elders prayed for me and I am really trusting in God. The thing is, after the elders prayed for me, Krystina was asking me about my hand. And she asked me if I had been asking God what He was teaching me, what I was supposed to learn in this. And truthfully... I hadn't really been thinking/praying about it. The thought had come to mind, but that was about it. And the more I think about it, the more I've realized that there is definitely something I am supposed to be learning.

I was thinking about that on and off all day on Sunday. And then, when I got home, I slipped on the snow and fell. When I fell my neck connected with the open box top I was carrying. Needless to say, it hurt. I have a cardboard burn on my neck and I bruised my throat. All day Monday I was very sore and thinking. God, is definitely trying to teach me something, I've never been this "hurt" in my life. God is breaking me down and making me vulnerable. Cutting down my independency and self-sufficiency and making me dependent on Him and Him alone. It's amazing, how long it takes for me to get past my self and my "pain" and realize that God is trying to talk to me, to get through my thick brain and make me more like Him. It's amazing how long it takes till I can finally say "O.k. God, I'm finally listening."